The Videotape
by Fantasmarific Amalia
Summary: It's hard to explain. You'd have to read. Trust me, okay? LashLayla. ONESHOT.


_My cat died Wednesday. She was ten years old._

_If it matters to anyone, I loved her to pieces._

-

"I don't want to be here," I muttered, shaking my head once, my eyes shut as my mother shut the car off, opening the door. "I can't be here - I'm not going inside."

For only a second did I sense the sympathetic look from her, but then I heard her tongue snap the roof of her mouth. I knew what she was going to demand. And I was going to refuse. I had to - I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to face these people.

Yet as she climbed out of the driver's side, I darkened my glare to the reflection in the mirror despite the fact that I knew it wasn't going to help my situation. I listened to her slam the door closed, her legs carrying her to my side, opening my passenger door. "Yes, you are. You need to show your face to the world."

"What's a world without her around, Mah?" I snapped, folding my arms and avoiding her clawing hands to hold my fingers and tug me from my chair. "Leave me the hell alone."

I felt her hand connect with my cheek from the sidewalk, and my mom managed to grasp my arm, tugging and stretching the limb - no weight shifted from the bucket seat.

"Lash stop being so foolish. Let's go." She leaned into the car at me, and whispered harsh words in my ear. "No powers, boy - you can't be costing us a secret like that." At the corner of my eye I saw her straighten her posture, and then began to tug on my arm, glint in her eye to tell me to come along, don't be foolish, let's go, we need to get inside.

"I'll wait out here. I can't go in." She finally tugged on my arm so hard that the socket began to strain, my shoulder aching so much that I leaned out and onto the cement at her feet. "I...can't. Mom, I don't want to see her." Looking up at her, she showed no weakness. "Please."

This is when she bent down beside me, hand on my back. "Lash, I know how much she meant to you - but you can't be a foolish boy like this and just try to ignore it. Come on - we'll be in and out in under two minutes, if you'd like."

I thought that doing just that might work. But as I got to my feet, I nearly tried to crawl back into the car and curl into a little ball, eyes down and hands covering my face. Mom tugged me along, up the stairs and into the building. It smelled like death. My stomach churned. "I wanna get outta here. Now."

"Stop it," she growled beside me, walking slowly past the owner of the building, to the side to sign our names in a booklet, grasping two pictures of the one girl that wanted me to go home and slide back into bed. I stared at her face for a moment, wishing she could hear me right now.

_I want to leave - believe me,_ I thought to her, shutting my eyes and breathing in deeply. _I don't want to be here, either - I know you didn't want this to happen._

Her smiling face staring back at me told me that she'd forgive me in the end.

The sound of my mother's feet shuffling against the carpet made me sigh, wishing she wouldn't have brought me along. I could have done something like this at home - my own way of saying this. She of all people would have understood.

I felt my mom's fingers wrapping around my arm, letting me know that she wasn't going to let me out of her sight while we were in here. But once we reached _that room_, I completely turned around and shouted to no one, "Is this some type of sick joke?"

All of the flower arrangements were wilted - gone. Dead, like her.

"Sir, sir," the owner came waddling forward, his suit and tie swaying with every step. "Please refrain from using an outside voice -"

"No!" I yelled, shaking my head and ignoring my mother's squeezing fingers. "It's disgusting!"

"Lash?" The voice was weak, shaky in the doorway behind me. I turned, seeing the red, blotchy face of Crystal Skye, one of my oldest friends. "My God..." And her arms were wrapped around my torso, her face hidden in my chest. "I didn't want to show, either."

"C'mon," I whispered, ignoring my mother and the owner and walking towards an empty sitting room, where a few chairs sat, waiting for us. She took my hand loosely, and I led the way to a chair, watching her stumble into the one beside me.

"The whole deal with the flowers -" she started, her eyes closing, her back slouching in the chair as she sank to have her legs outstretching on the carpet, "is that she could always control them from miles away. Didn't you see when you were coming?"

"You mean now that she's gone, all the plants are just...dead?" The word on my tongue made me cringe. But Crystal nodded. "Fuck." She nodded again, body sliding onto the floor to spread out at my feet, her hands wiping away tears dripping from her glass blue eyes.

"Are you going to see her?"

I shook my head, and then remembered that her eyes were closed. "No," even though I felt guilty for Amanda, her mother, "I don't think I could see her - stand to, at least, when all those other people were in there."

"It's depressing." And then her voice hardened, hate seeping through, "He's in there."

"I figured as much," I growled, my lip quivering a grimace as the thought of Stronghold crossed my mind. "What did he say?"

"Stuff about how he loved her."

I wanted to puke. What a lie.

"Do you wanna see her?" She asked me quietly.

"Later."

--

When 'later' came, it was 9 at night, and people were long gone. My mom trusted me enough to stay with Crystal in the sitting room, hoping that I'd finally come around to see her - and left the funeral home.

Crystal took me to the room, and I did my best to ignore the smell of the dead flowers, the scent of the chemicals that tried to keep them healthy and alive. And then there she was, lying in the coffin, the interior covered in fake flowers - people might have guessed right that the real ones wouldn't have survived - covered in memories, pictures of the past.

I felt her let me go, to wander the nearly empty room to sit beside Amanda, the lone parent. I could hear her whispering little comfort words, promises to come by and help whenever she was to be needed, and I could hear the woman respond in little hitched gasps, little whimpers of yes and no. When I felt her eyes on my back, I looked up from where I stood, staring at the carpet when I was finding little designs in the rug, and then glanced to the boards on a few stands.

Memories.

I nearly walked out right then, if Amanda hadn't caught my attention. "Lash...?" Turning around, I saw her gripping her large bag closely to her chest, heaving breaths before beckoning me forward. "I have something for you."

"I can't." Her mother had raised an eyebrow, shaking her head. Whatever it was, I knew it would scar me. Like she's scarred me - scarred for life.

"No, no, you're taking it. She made it for you two weeks ago and kept telling me to give it to you whenever I saw you." Pulling out a VCR tape, she outstretched her arm towards me, shaking it slightly before I reached for it. _For Lash_, it said. I saw the small print at the bottom - _Play Me._ "It's been in my bag for so long."

"Here, I'll take it - I have someplace to put it for the time being," Crystal took it from my hands slowly, knowing that I was weak, and placed it inside her own large purse, sitting back down beside Amanda.

"Mm," was all I could muster to say, the feeling of the plastic still in my hands left me tingling, so I turned towards the boards, trying my hardest not to look towards the girl in the coffin, only 4 feet to my right. I couldn't. Not yet. I had something to say, and I wanted her to know it - even though I'm sure she already knew what it was. I'm pretty sure her mother did too - and Crystal, the way she was looking at me told me so.

I stared at a few photos, staring her in the face as the old thoughts, the feelings came back to me, flooding my mind.

The first one that I saw of the two of us, was fairly recent, at her cousin's wedding. She brought me because Stronghold was saving the world with his parents, and she was surprised when I told her that I've never been to a wedding before. The picture was of us together, really close and smiley - because she kept laughing when I tried to fiddle with the camera, finding that little black button to snap the picture. A few times we made goofy faces, a few times I'd sneak a kiss upon her cheek, making her blush and laugh just as the camera flashed to take the picture. But the one here, on the board, was of our faces close, arms around each other's waists, my face calm, teeth sparkling white as she held her face, red and shiny, cheeks glowing brightly, about to laugh.

Looking away, I caught sight of a few more, some of her friends in the living room floor at her house, all in sleeping bags, some playing video games in the back. Another was at school, a few in the cafeteria, where I had caught her with it, snatching at it, only to have her call me over and snap a picture of us, goofing along.

A few more, were of her at peace in the backyard garden at her house, eyes shut as she sprawled out upon the hammock made of roses. I knew she was content there. That's why I took this one.

"Do you want to watch it now?" Amanda asked me, throwing me back to the present.

"I'd love to." But in my head, I could only be screaming 'no', for I don't actually want to know what was on this tape.

The owner, as if on cue, pulled out a cart with a small TV placed upon it, the VCR player beneath the TV on another shelf. Amanda limply had taken back the video from Crystal's purse, and slowly crossed the room to stand beside me, setting the tape at the mouth of the VCR as she looked to me, as if asking if it were still okay. I nodded, closing my eyes to sit upon the floor, hearing Crystal shuffle her feet to hold Amanda's hand as she settled into a nearby seat.

I stretched an arm after the owner left the room, pressing play. And then I opened my lids, watching the static become colors, become her, sitting silently for only a moment in front of the TV screen.

Amanda began to cry loudly, and I could only watch.

"Hey," she whispered, glancing towards the darkened shades of the room, where I could spot my legs upon the bed. I was there, when she recorded this? "I wanted to give this to you on your 18th birthday, and play it for you when everyone's around you - cause it's full of embarrassing gimmicks from way back when we first met. Do you remember those days?"

"Vaguely," I whispered. I knew at that moment, that pressing play was a bad idea.

"Yeah, me too," she said, nodding slowly. "But somehow I knew I wouldn't make it." I responded to this with an "Oh, God...", but she kept speaking. "So yeah, uh - here."

I watched as video-me had stirred a bit, causing her to freeze, turning towards video-me. Her arm reached out towards the camcorder, just as video-me had stretched up, leaning up to blow a raspberry on her cheek, making her laugh before the recording stopped. But the frozen frame was of me staring at her, face mid-laugh as she turned towards me before it faded to black, starting up something new.

"Lash's 5th birthday!" I heard my mother shouting, and I immediately covered my face, chuckling once before I had to stop, my throat hurting. We were at a picnic table, Speed to one side, reaching out and over to the cake and swiping a line, and she was pointing out the pretty pink flower that my mother let her decorate herself, despite the fact that on the cake was a bunch of racecars and black and white checkered flags. I was into the racing thing for a while.

All of my old friends, including Crystal (who had gave an excited gurgle beside me), had shown for the party, running around and screaming with their stupid paper hats and water balloons. Chaos at its best. I laughed then, because at that moment, Amanda had shown up, picking up her daughter and taking her over towards another table to talk to her about behaving. She screamed, nearly in tears. "I want to stay with Lash, leave me alone!"

She bolted towards the picnic table again, smiling as she wrapped her arms around little-video-me before I got to hold the knife and cut cake.

It faded, but this time towards a Christmas holiday, my mom behind the camera. "Lay, Lay," video-me called throughout the house, wondering where my best friend had gone. She appeared behind me, pouncing on my back and giggling, making me smile, glancing over at Crystal, who was laughing occasionally, wiping tears. "Ah, there you are!" She got off video-me's back, and I watched as I had tossed her her gift, almost getting one to the face as she passed me my own.

"You're going to love it, I just know it!" I couldn't exactly see what it was, but I watched myself cross the room to sit beside her, kissing her cheek, hearing my mother behind the camera gasp, calling out to me.

"Lash..." she sounded weary, nervous, but video-me and myself had shared an eerily sounding laugh, shaking my head. I watched Layla blush, nevertheless wrapping her arms around my neck and squishing me.

"I love it!"

It faded again, and I noted how old we were. About 11, I snatched up the camcorder and chased her around her house, laughing and almost stumbling on the stairs. But Layla had shaken her head, taking the recorder away from me and giggled. "Lash, l wanna hold it today." She was nine.

"Okay, just don't drop it." I folded my hands as my little squeaky voice hit my ears, making my cheeks red. She turned it towards video-me, and immediately I just started making faces, my eyes crossed, my fingers stretching my mouth so that my tongue could hang out. I heard her giggle again, and I held my breath.

"Ew, Lash, you're so gross." Video-me laughed loudly, and then it faded again, to black.

Crystal looked at me from the corner of my eye, but then white letters covered the screen.

_We weren't always so young and cute, you know._

And then we were back to her room, her hands shaking as she breathed out. Video-me had passed out again. "We had our times..."

Boom, back to videos. I leaned back, touching the carpet with my fingers as I noted that I held the recorder, watching Layla sprint down the stairs, tears streaming. "What's wrong?" I had heard video-me ask. I paled.

No way, did she save this. No way, would I want to think of that time again.

But the video kept playing. "I just got struck with the horrible thought that I've never been kissed before." She whined into my shirt, shoving the camera down so I could hug her. We got a shot of the floor for a few seconds, but that was only before Layla had taken it into her hands, looking at me. "It's strange, you know?"

"I've been kissed before," I heard myself saying, and then Crystal gasped beside me, turning red. I breathed in slowly, shaking my head before covering my face, hearing it continue. "At Cryssy's birthday party 'while 'go."

"No way." I heard the two girls whisper at the same time. Crystal turned towards me, shaking her head. "God, that was so long ago."

I smiled, "Yeah, I know."

"But I thought you said that you didn't like her like that." Layla crept the question through her mouth carefully, as if saying it fast would let a bomb go off. Amanda gave a small chuckle, and then buried her face behind her hands, watching.

"I don't. I got dared to."

We were still young. She was 14, I was 16.

"Do you..." she wondered, making me tilt my head in the video. I crept towards the couch, but she stopped me with words. She caught me on tape. "Wanna be my first kiss?" Layla set the camera down on the TV, so our bodies were only visible from the waist up, and even though I wanted to look away, I couldn't.

I remember even before Cryssy's birthday party - I've kissed other girls. But this one, right before I approached her - scared me. The only time.

But that was only because it meant something.

I watched myself shrug, saying that I didn't mind. But God, I could still feel the pounding of my heart when I bent down to kiss her lips. I shut my eyes, reliving the moment, ignoring the fact that Cryssy and Amanda were staring at me.

I heard birds, then. Wind against the microphone as I realized the camera was outside now. Opening my eyes fast, I watched each step to reach her backyard, the fence creaking when I opened that door, experiencing the greenery. If I held my breath, I could feel the breeze, the tickle of Layla's thriving plants against my cheeks, the warmth against my head, my right shoulder as I walked halfway into the shade and halfway in the sun.

"Layla? You back here?"

This was only a few months ago. I was 17.

A vine crawled up my face, scratching a spot on my neck to tell me that yes, she was, and I began to run, through rock paths and a water fountain, moving a few willow tree branches out of the way of the camera as I reached the back of the yard. Deep into everything, I found her, folded into herself on the rose hammock.

"Hey," I muttered, climbing over her to lay beside her. She snorted when she saw the recorder, and then swatted it away, smiling.

"Weirdo with the videocamera," she murmured, eyes shut as she breathed in deeply. I couldn't help but tilt my head and smile. She was so beautiful.

"Yeah, yeah, sure." But I didn't stop it - I kept recording her beauty, hoping to film it all and be able to keep it safe inside the tapes. Video-me hugged her tightly, before pausing it just to come back to it, her own hands holding the camera, the daylight sinking.

"You know what's really nice?"

"Other than Layla Williams?" Video-me wondered, sounding bewildered.

She ignored me. "That I could tell you anything in the world, and you'd keep it a secret." She kissed my forehead, I heard it, and I remember tugging her towards me after that. The camera faded a bit, but that was only because the light in the sky was getting dark.

The camera was facing me now, and I could hear her asking a question. But video-me closed his eyes and snuggled deep into a rose petal pillow she had just made. "What?"

"What would happen if I died?"

"No, Lay, don't think about that. Don't even make me think about it. I couldn't." Slowly, my head dipped into my knees, and I could hear Crystal shuffling her feet against the rug as well, unsettled.

"Would you go to the funeral?" I clamped a hand over her mouth to make her shut up about a death, but she shrugged it off, ripping her face from beneath before grabbing the camera and holding it above our heads, recording both of us. "Would you?"

I watched my arm wrap around her waist, tugging her closer to me, letting me rest my face into her neck.

"I don't think I'd let you," she whispered, smiling softly before slowly letting the camera go. I remember a vine taking hold of it, keeping it still even as we shifted beneath it on the hammock. "I would want you to remember me in your own way."

"But here I am," I choked, closing my eyes, remembering that exact moment. I could hear her lips make a soft smack against my cheek on the tape, and all I wanted to do was curl up next to her in the coffin. "I tried to stay away, Layla..."

And then the tape began to fast forward the time, us just laying there, the light darkening our sights, until all we could see was the bright, full moon above her favorite willow tree. My arms were tightly wrapped around her, but she kept her eyes on me, wide awake. The tape stopped fastforwarding, going at the regular speed so that I could hear what she was saying now.

"I love you Lash."

Finally, the tape went black, back to her in her room, my legs still in the same spot as they were before. We watched silently, deadly quiet, as she stood tall, turning into her bed and pushing video-me over to the side, climbing in, just to be pulled into my own body when my arm lifted to be placed about her side. I heard her kissing my cheek once, and watched as video-me gave a soft moan, pulling her tightly towards me. Her eyes shut, and I heard her sigh. Easy. Content.

It ended.

Static - I looked from Crystal to Amanda, who were both in heavy tears, and reached into the VCR to grasp a hold of the tape, clutching it to my chest before I stood, shaking as I walked towards her. Layla.

I sniffed, now unable to control my emotions any longer. I stroked her hair, doing my best to ignore the smell of the fluids inside her now. Bending down so that my forehead touched hers, I breathed out, eyes closing, mouth filling with dread. I could feel the hot tears leave my eyes to land upon her pale cheeks. That's when I kissed her, full on the painted pink lips. "I love you too."

Glancing only a moment to Crystal and Amanda, I walked out of the room, out the door, and into the cool night. Staring up at the sky, I tilted my head at the moon, watching it glare back at me with the brightness it held.

I knew she was watching me.

-

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